Scream Queens has reached its final episode of the hospital-based season with “Drain The Swamp,” and the Green Meanies made their final attempt at killing the Chanels — but do they succeed, or does Chanel and her clever minions survive once again?
“Drain The Swamp”
For starters, Chanel begins the episode by discovering a baseball pitching machine with the Green Meanie (Nurse Hoffel) behind the attempted murder by baseballs. The method isn’t too effective, despite injuring one of the new Chanels, and it’s back to the drawing board for the weakest of the Green Meanies. At the same time, Cascade can’t bring himself to kill #3 and decides he will kill (or talk to) his mother to express his feelings. With Hester now aware of Dr. Holt’s desire to kill, she gives him the idea to marry Cathy Munsch before she dies of her cannibalism disease and inherit her fortune. If that were to happen, the two could move to Blood Island to murder tourists and live a twisted happy life.
When Hoffel learns that the toxic fertilizer from the depths of the swamp is extremely flammable, she begins to research fertilizer bombs — while Holt proposes to Munsch and Chanel is distraught when she believed she would be the wife of the surgeon. Holt explains to Chanel, “And maybe when Cathy dies, I’ll rip that ring off her cold dead finger and give it to you.” Scream Queens and romance practically go hand in hand, don’t they? Speaking of love, Cascade tells his mother he has chosen Chanel #3 over her, and she doesn’t take the news well — but, with that behind him, he reveals that Hoffel is the last active Green Meanie.
The day has come for Cathy and Brock to become a married couple, but, after the ceremony, #5 explains to the dean that she has a feeling this supposed disease killing her is actually something else. (Go #5!) She suggests a surgery that uses a sample of the brain to examine, and Holt finds it to be a decent idea for his own Harvard-friends-bragging rights. Nurse Hoffel continues her bomb scheming (unplugging the cryosleep chamber Denise is preserved in) when Cascade’s mother calls to join — but she declines her assistance despite his mother having her own tactics (Zayday is still her prisoner). Mrs. Cascade speaks with Zayday, and Zayday gives her hope that her son has learned to be a good person from her own example, trying to reason with the psychotic, revenge-seeking mother. They end their conversation with Zayday offering to show her the hospital that her son helped build that is the opposite of what it used to be.
With Munsch’s surgery nearly ready, the Chanels hold a meeting where Chanel tells the others she plans on pouring a scalding hot pumpkin spice latte on her open brain to kill the woman who made their lives so complex (such as giving them a chance to become doctors or attaining their own daytime series). #5 tries to tell her it would most likely just kill off residual bacteria in the brain, but Chanel only grows more frustrated by #5’s brilliance and will act on her plan to have Munsch die at her own discretion. The scene debating how to kill their former dean is one that reminds us how perfect the Chanels can be when they unite and that they are, without a doubt, an iconic trio of television.
The surgery begins, and they keep her awake to make sure nothing serious gets jumbled — for starters, they have her sing a song to ensure they don’t affect that area (it nearly happens when she slurs, but it was just a quick mishap). Chanel can’t wait any longer while Munsch sings “Smoke On The Water” by Deep Purple and tosses her beverage, missing and hitting Hoffel instead. When #5 goes over the results with Munsch, she finds out that it is actually a scotch diet and extreme dehydration that started the false signs of her life-threatening disease. To top it off, it turns out that the brains ingested were lamb brains, and Dean Munsch is back to being healthy (except the lack of water).
Nurse Hoffel asks to have everyone in the basement for a celebratory glass of champagne, but they realize something isn’t right when they enter a steel cage and sip apple cider with fake styrofoam cheese (dead giveaway). She pulls a gun on them and has to drop several hints about Ms. Bean for the simple fact that they just didn’t really remember her that well. Zayday and Cascade’s mother arrive to help (and Zayday sarcastically thanks them for searching for her), but his mother is shot and killed, getting Zayday locked up as well. Hoffel leaves them locked away with a bomb in the corner, but Denise Hemphill comes to and proves the cryosleep chamber actually paid off. She may not have been trained for this, but her viewings of Quantico are discussed as her method of reference, as she successfully stops it from detonating (and #5 reveals her vaginal teeth are real when she feared dying as a liar).
The others begin to chase Hoffel (who was trying to avoid the now defunct bomb), and, in her last ditch effort to get another kill in, she tosses a blade like a pro — but Cascade steps in front of #3 to save her from a potential death. (Yes, it totally could have required a push or tug, which was humorously addressed.) With one down and Hoffel on the run, the others pursue her until she ends up sinking into the swamp. A vote is taken to see if they should use “vigilante justice” or save her from the thick swamp-pit, but everyone agrees to let her die. Cathy feels uneasy and tries to save Hoffel, but it is unsuccessful, and the final Green Meanie has met her end.
In the episode’s final moments, we see where everyone is after the murder spree comes to an end. Chanel #5 has partnered with Zayday to run the hospital, proving overall to be people with a desire to do good — and #5 is finally getting the chance to show how unexpectedly brilliant she really is. Hester stole all of Cathy’s money and fled to Blood Island with Dr. Brock, where they live in riches while hunting a fresh batch of victims as a serial killer power couple. Cathy Munsch decides to become a sex therapist of sorts who aids women with achieving spectacular orgasms, and Chanel explains that she has learned you must be skinny, beautiful and rich to survive multiple murder sprees, despite the wholesome cliché final-girl mentality in the genre. That statement is what has made Scream Queens so enjoyable: turning genre rules around and making them a thing of the past. Chanel finally notes she’s gone on to conduct her own show (“Lovin’ The C”) where Chanel is the TV doctor she dreamed of being, with topics that benefit the rich and promote being yourself — a Chanel Oberlin masterpiece. #3 has become the executive producer of the series, so the two remain close, and, just before the series ends, Chanel heads to her car, where she finds a KKT ring as she screams at the sight of the Red Devil in the backseat. Once again, Scream Queens leaves us worried for Chanel — but, if there’s anything I learned, it’s that nothing can keep Chanel down.
Overall Grade: 8/10
Scream Queens Season 2 came to an end with (almost) everyone I wanted to live making it through. “Drain The Swamp” maintained all of the Scream Queens quirks that made the series unique and a helped fill a void that needed to be filled for television. Sure, it wasn’t the Season 1 finale, but it had a happy tone that felt necessary for the characters who had been through such drastic events. Emma Roberts once again reminds us why she is such a star and a talent that can’t be duplicated, so I truly hope Scream Queens will be back to showcase her abilities.
Aedan’s Final Thoughts:
– The Chanels survived! I am so pleased to know the diabolical trio lived through another series of murders. They are easily the best characters on Scream Queens.
– Let’s hope there’s a semblance of hope for a Season 3, but, regardless, the ending was fulfilling — I just don’t want to say farewell yet!
– RIP Dr. Cascade, I was rooting for you.
– Grace MUST be the Red Devil killer — unless Chad Radwell is back from the dead.